Fetti, the Lossfetti mascot Lossfetti $LOSSFET

Live from your portfolio, it's

Lossfetti$LOSSFET

Red candle, green confetti. Every time.

Fetti blasting green and gold confetti over a sagging red candlestick

Tonight's episode

You sold the bottom. The app threw confetti anyway. So did we, and we brought a lot more of it.

Press the button

Meet tonight's contestants

Fetti, a round confetti creature with a party popper

Fetti

The confetti

A living burst of green and gold streamers with a party-popper grin that has never once moved. Your trade filled? Party. Your trade filled at the worst price of the year? Bigger party. Fetti doesn't read charts. Fetti reads vibes, and the vibe is always confetti.

Red Candle, a sagging red candlestick, groaning under green and gold confetti

Red Candle

The reason for the party

A long red candlestick with a long red day behind him. Every episode, Fetti climbs on top and pops off. Every episode, Red Candle groans a little lower. He has asked politely for some quiet. He got confetti.

Step up to the Confetti Machine

Type what you paid and what you sold for. The machine prints your confirmation and fires confetti sized to the damage. Small dip, small party. Full rekt, full stage.

Waiting for your order…

The house rules

  1. 1

    Confetti fires every time.

    Win, lose, or rekt. The button does not check your PnL and neither do we.

  2. 2

    The redder the candle, the bigger the party.

    A green day gets a sprinkle. A red day gets the whole cannon.

  3. 3

    Red Candle may groan.

    Groaning is allowed. Fetti will not notice. Fetti never notices.

  4. 4

    Stonks go sideways.

    Up, down, sideways. Sideways is a party too.